Today is our 13 year anniversary, yay! With each anniversary I am so excited we made it through another year of marriage. Gosh that doesn’t sound good haha, it’s not like we suffer through the year but hey marriage is hard and I feel like anniversaries deserve a huge celebration.
To be honest this last year has been one of the hardest in our marriage. Not in a, we are fighting everyday kind of way, but it’s been hard in the way of finding time for each other. I always heard once you become parents its easy for things to become all about the kids. When I used to hear that pre-parenthood I remember thinking that will never be Matt and I (ha). Fast forward 19 months into being parents and I totally get it now.
I have definitely learned that date nights and one-on-one time do not just happen on their own. Matt and I have to be intentional, which means planning and looking ahead in the schedule to carve out time for each other, which doesn’t feel very romantic. I’m hoping we get better at this because I am usually too tired to plan our dates.
The longer we are married I learn more about myself and Matt. Lately I have been feeling a scary shift in my attitude towards him. We have talked about it a couple times and it isn’t something I can really ignore anymore. I have been getting really annoyed and defensive whenever he asks me things or questions me, especially regarding Lily. I feel like I do so much for Lily and I’ve got my system down with how I handle certain things. Then when he is home and questions something I do, I do not handle it well. Then I feel annoyed at myself for being rude to him. And I think, we’ve been married too long for me to act like this. It can become a vicious cycle and I don’t like how I’m acting. I am really going to make a conscious effort to change my attitude. It can be so easy to point fingers and play the blame game but that never gets anyone anywhere.
So this next year of marriage I have a few goals first I’m going to make an effort to really make time for us. Second I’m going to work on having a positive attitude towards my husband. Third I am going to apologize when I am wrong and not make any excuses for my bad attitude or sarcastic comments. Oh boy, I’ve got my work cut out for me. I thought I would keep it real in this post since so many times we can look at others, especially through the social media lens, and think they’ve got it all together. Matt and I have had our ups and down and I’m sure we will continue to have them but we have come a long way and I am so grateful for every bit of it!