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Today is our 13 year anniversary, yay! With each anniversary I am so excited we made it through another year of marriage. Gosh that doesn’t sound good haha, it’s not like we suffer through the year but hey marriage is hard and I feel like anniversaries deserve a huge celebration.

To be honest this last year has been one of the hardest in our marriage. Not in a, we are fighting everyday kind of way, but it’s been hard in the way of finding time for each other. I always heard once you become parents its easy for things to become all about the kids. When I used to hear that pre-parenthood I remember thinking that will never be Matt and I (ha). Fast forward 19 months into being parents and I totally get it now.

I have definitely learned that date nights and one-on-one time do not just happen on their own. Matt and I have to be intentional, which means planning and looking ahead in the schedule to carve out time for each other, which doesn’t feel very romantic. I’m hoping we get better at this because I am usually too tired to plan our dates.

The longer we are married I learn more about myself and Matt. Lately I have been feeling a scary shift in my attitude towards him. We have talked about it a couple times and it isn’t something I can really ignore anymore. I have been getting really annoyed and defensive whenever he asks me things or questions me, especially regarding Lily. I feel like I do so much for Lily and I’ve got my system down with how I handle certain things. Then when he is home and questions something I do, I do not handle it well. Then I feel annoyed at myself for being rude to him. And I think, we’ve been married too long for me to act like this. It can become a vicious cycle and I don’t like how I’m acting. I am really going to make a conscious effort to change my attitude. It can be so easy to point fingers and play the blame game but that never gets anyone anywhere.

So this next year of marriage I have a few goals first I’m going to make an effort to really make time for us. Second I’m going to work on having a positive attitude towards my husband. Third I am going to apologize when I am wrong and not make any excuses for my bad attitude or sarcastic comments. Oh boy, I’ve got my work cut out for me. I thought I would keep it real in this post since so many times we can look at others, especially through the social media lens, and think they’ve got it all together. Matt and I have had our ups and down and I’m sure we will continue to have them but we have come a long way and I am so grateful for every bit of it!

 

 

 

 

Hey there, Happy Thursday! In honor of football season approaching my current batch of graham crackers I made with our sports cookie cutters.

Here’s the recipe I use. Do not be intimidated by making your own dough these puppies are easy and so good! The whole family loves them. Go Giants 🙂 IMG_9118

Ingredients 

  • 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1½ cups all purpose flour
  • ½ cup dark brown sugar, packed
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • ½ cup butter, chilled & cubed
  • ¼ cup honey
  • ¼ cup water (I end up using around 1/2 cup of water, so if it’s crumbly just add water in small increments)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • optional: 1 tablespoon wheat germ or flax seed
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a food processor or mixer combine the first 6 ingredients. (If using wheat germ or flax seed add here.)
  3. Add cubed and chilled butter to the mix and pulse/mix until it resembles coarse meal.
  4. Add honey, water and vanilla and continue to mix until it all combines.
  5. Remove and shape the dough into a flat disk and place between two pieces of wax or parchment paper. (I found it easier to roll the dough w/o a sheet on top of the dough.)
  6. Roll dough out until ¼ inch thick. Cut into crackers or shapes. Combine the dough scraps and roll out again to cut more shapes.
  7. Place cookies on a Silpat or parchment lined baking sheet and bake for 13-15 minutes.
  8. Cool and serve.
NOTES

To Freeze: After step 6, place the cut out cookie shapes on a baking sheet and freeze for 20 minutes. Remove, place in a Ziploc bag, label and freeze for up to 4 months. When ready to bake, follow steps 7-8, adding an additional 1-2 minutes baking time.

*For thinner graham crackers roll dough out to ⅛” thickness and bake for about 10 minutes.

I have not frozen the dough yet. If any of you do it let me know how it turns out!
Recipe taken from Love To Be In The Kitchen 

Well here is another outfit post that didn’t go as planned, but that’s life right? Most of the time Lily was crying and I was bribing her. I had the wrong lens on the camera in the beginning (ugh). I’m still figuring out this blogging thing. Having good pictures is such an important aspect and I’m learning that good pictures don’t just happen. It takes practice, practice, and then more practice. On a good note Matt and I aren’t ending these little photo sessions thinking we need marriage counseling ha (that’s a joke, kind of) 🙂

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Oh and the dogs face in the picture, real classy huh!?

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I bribed her with sticks…

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cookies…

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and a pen, ha! Some moments she was happy.

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So I think you get the idea. I am in love with the exposed shoulder trend and of course the ripped jeans. This top is only $14.99 at HM and the jeans are Joes from the Rack. They are a little snug but will stretch, fingers crossed! Oh and the berks, if you don’t have a pair I highly recommend them! They are so worth the price. Since it’s pretty warm where we live I’ll still be wearing these through fall.

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Ok now for Lily! First of all I can not handle this vest from Target!! The dress is from our favorite shop Little Foot Clothing, they have 40% off sales pretty often and that’s when I snag some of my favorites. I just got her a long sleeve black maxi dress for fall….eek… it’s so adorable! Her headband is from Moose and Hippo, they have such cute bows.

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 Top HM

Joes Jeans from The Rack

Choker  Nordstrom

Lily’s Outfit

Dress Little Foot Clothing

Vest Target

Headband Moose and Hippo

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For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mom. I’ve always dreamed of having a large family. Then when getting pregnant wasn’t happening for us I started questioning my dreams wondering if they would ever be a reality. Then came the answer to our biggest prayer, a complete miracle and dream come true; Lily Rose. She is amazing and wonderful I can hardly remember life without her. I really want her to have a sibling. I wish I could say that experiencing all that happened surrounding the circumstances in which God brought Lily to us gave me a super human faith and I don’t ever worry about or wonder how and when we will have more children but it didn’t. It is something I am thinking about more and more these days. I think in the back of my mind I just thought that I would finally get pregnant after we adopted. I’m sure you’ve heard about many couples getting pregnant immediately after they adopt and “stop trying.”

Side Note: Let me just say if anyone out there has adopted I’m sure you have heard this from someone along your journey; (or perhaps you’ve said something like this to an adopting couple) you have announced you are going to adopt and someone says to you “you know you’ll probably end up getting pregnant after you adopt” and yes that does happen, but it doesn’t happen for everyone.

These comments can be tough for an adopting couple to hear and those ideas can begin to mess with your thoughts. First, it kinda makes you question “Am I adopting just so I can get pregnant?” Secondly, you may begin to find yourself wondering “once I adopt am I just secretly waiting to receive that positive pregnancy test? Then what if I never get pregnant after adoption? You start the questions all over again “why am I not getting pregnant while so many others around me have. What’s wrong with me? Why does it seem to happen so easily for others? Is it because I’m not doing a good job with the one child God has given me? All this to say please choose your words carefully to anyone you know that is going through any kind of infertility/adoption/fostering. When in doubt just validate their feelings. Tell them you are sorry for their pain and let them know you support them. Those words mean more than you’ll ever know.

Once we had Lily I didn’t think at all about adding to our family in the beginning. We had our child, an amazing tiny baby girl, a complete miracle. I was trying to adjust to motherhood and all the new feelings and emotions that come with it. That desire to get pregnant had vanished. However, the closer we got to her first birthday I started thinking about having more children again. I’m not entirely sure where it came from but I’m guessing all the posts I see on social media of everyone’s growing families had something to do with it. Suddenly I started to feel this uncomfortable pressure like we better figure out what’s next for us. Also, it was always so important to me that when we did have kids that they were close enough in age to enjoy each others company and be best buddies. Sometimes it really hits me and it’s hard to think about the fact that we can’t just decide to have another baby tomorrow. For others it happens “by accident” or they can plan out the entire process and literally pick the time of year they want to be pregnant. Our family planning means talking to lawyers, adoption agencies and hoping and praying that a birth mom picks us. Or on the other hand do we go through the pain and uncertainty of fostering. I’m not sure my heart could handle that. (and God bless those moms and dads who do that so well) I can’t help but think of the the things that could go wrong with either option. With all of that being said. I’m learning to embrace our story the absolute beauty of Adoption and whoever God has created for us.

We are praying and waiting for God to let us know what our next step is in growing our family. I am nervous and excited to see where, when, and how we will bring home our next miracle!

For those of you out there struggling, wondering, and hoping to grow your family, I understand and know how you feel. But more importantly God is right there along side of you. He is walking with you every step of your journey.

This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls

   Hebrews 6:19

 

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